Monday, October 31, 2005

Tell Me Why I Don't Like Mondays

Having a little trouble today (Monday…fuck!).

My brain is definitely not wired to hum to the buzzing of a brand new week filled with potential. As early as 11 this morning I was casting drowsy glances toward the corner placed clock cast by Windows XP and sighing into my mid-morning tea. Admittedly, the office vibe today is slightly lower than muted desperation licking the balls of frustration. It’s Monday. Christmas campaigns are in full swing (5 radio ads scripted and sent out for approval) things should be Happening and for the life of me I couldn’t care less.

I’m not depressed. Just B-O-R-E-D. The weather is shit and I spent 20 minutes outside in the lashing rain and gusting wind in front of the recording studio at 10 this morning waiting for a cab. And once I was picked up, I spent the next 15 minutes drowning in the following conversation:

Cabbie: So what’s the craic with you this weather?
Me: Guh? (I equipped my Northern Ireland Babel Fish and realized not a moment too soon that he was giving me the local version of, “What’s shakin’, daddy-oh?”
Me: Oh, yeah. Good. Good. I’m good. Weather’s a bit shite…”
Cabbie: Och! Aye! Nerfumble bollocks crack-schnapps.”
Me: I hear ya. ‘Spose it’s that time of year tho…”
Cabbie: Arck! Yer a wee cheeky gobshite! (Uproarious laughter). Cracker!”

Somewhere, hidden within this exchange was something to do with this winter being forecasted as one of the worst Britain will see in decades and how nobody over here knows how to drive in snow. Fascinating stuff and not made any better by quaint regional accents. I think after five months over here I’m getting a quick dousing of culture shock. But there you go.

When we pulled into the company parking lot I managed a weak smile and a wave to the cabbie.

I’ve spent the rest of the day typing out amends and trying to come up with a clever line for the company Christmas card.

So far I’ve come up with:

Season’s Greetings!

It's a phrase that's sure to be all the rage this season. I just know it.

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