Friday, November 11, 2005

If there is a God...

Why hasn't somebody gotten rid of Pat Robertson ?(Al Queida, I'm looking in your direction...) He calls for assassinations, claims hurricanes are caused by lesbians and now this. Can't somebody call for his assassination? Should I? (Shit! I think I just did! Am I now going to hell? What should I do?)

Actually, I think I have already taken the first tentative steps towards eternal damnation by (oh man, I feel dirty even admitting this) actually viewing Bab's web site and, oh-god-oh-god-oh-god-oh-god, almost-sorta-kinda agreeing with her about having Bush impeached.

I'm not very political in real life. Well I suppose I am political (the proof's right in front of me, for crying out loud) but I outgrew openly voicing my opinion in public when I was about 22 after a girl I was trying to date bashed my face in with a beer mug for having written a "humor" column about abortion. Apparently she didn't agree with whatever stance I had taken on that particular day.

I've never actually had a strong opinion one way or the other on abortion since my "inny" became an "outty" somewhere around the 1st or 2nd trimester. (I'm referring, of course, to how all babies are essentially female until something or the other triggers another something or other and your "Yoo-Hoo" becomes a "Ding-Dong".) As far as I'm concerned a man's view on abortion is as valuable as a woman having an opinion about circumcision.

Jeez. I'm having a hard time staying on topic today and in the process I'm invoking all kinds of evil political, religious and cultural spirits. (You'll have to excuse me. I'm suffering from a blinding migraine at the moment. Writing this is a good distraction away from the pain and the incredible desire to puke my lungs out.)

Where was I?

Oh right. I was talking some crap about something.

To summarize:

Pat Robertson? Bad. Definitely, Definitely, DEFINITELY BAD!
Barbra Streisand? Just kinda icky.
Bush impeachment? Good or Bad? Dunno.

What I do know is that codeine is a legal, over the counter drug here in Northern Ireland and I'm gonna go dope myself up nice and rightly.

Anyway, have a nice day because I know when the drugs kick in that I most certainly will.


Blogger gnightgirl said...

Another funny Pat Robertson post, that yours reminded me of.

7:27 pm  
Blogger Jes said...

pat robertson is the devil

6:43 pm  

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