Monday, November 21, 2005

This is your density...

Recently, someone sent me an email asking how I became a copywriter in Northern Ireland.

Normally, this would be an honest question-- if I had an honest answer, that is. Unfortunately, the only reply I can give without breaking into a cold liar’s sweat is: Luck.

So, for your educational pleasure I will now publish the least embellished work history that I have ever owned up to. I’m not embarrassed by my past, it is what it is, but it’s also not something I boast about when I’m looking for employment in the same way one wouldn’t confess to picking one’s nose before one shakes the president’s hand.

Will it give you an idea of how to become a copywriter? Hell no. Will it give you insight and inspire you to do the same? Lord, I hope not. But here it is anyway, in no particular order. Have fun. (And I won’t be putting any particulars in about who knew who and who sent me where to talk to whomever. Life is mostly coincidence. Accept that and you’ll go far.)

Cleaning out the bulk tank on a dairy.
General Labor for the veterinarian down the road (including sweeping out rabbit cages, painting his office building, scraping out the bull pens, bagging up dead doggies and evil cats and tossing them into an incinerator, etc.)
Mowing lawns.
Construction cleanup.
Washing cars at a Chevy dealership.
Disc Jockey at the college radio station.
Kentucky Fried Chicken.
Reception desk at a hotel.
Selling T-shirts in Galveston Texas (I was a bit disappointed to see that the store survived the latest hurricane season.)
Bartender (If you mix 'em strong, you get better tips.)
Reporter for hometown paper.
Carpet cleaning.
Milking cows.
Some pipe outfitters or something (I honestly can’t remember the name of the company or what it was I did. I remember putting things in the mail.)
Washing windows.
Warehouse Manager.
Bean picker.
Cold storage.
Chopping wood in New Zealand.
Production Lead for company that made extra squishy beds.
Carpet Cleaning.
Milking cows.

As you can see there is some repetition in the above list—mainly cleaning carpets and milking cows—so maybe those are the best fields to study if you got a hankerin’ for wordsmithing. It hasn’t seemed to hurt me so far.

(Looking over this list has made me realize that not only am I “Ordinary” I might actually be a little more, dare I say, EXTRAORDINARY? Maybe I should change my header for the day. I think I will!)


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