Friday, January 06, 2006

You Win Playaz

I've officially been served notice to quit my own name.


I've informed my parents of the circumstances surrounding this necessity and they understand but that doesn't dampen their desire to spank Phil and the rest of the Playaz and send them to their room without dinner (are you into that sort of thing, Playaz? Spanking? You like that? Do you?) By the way, my mom makes killer chocolate pudding cake and her toasted cheese sandwiches are to die for (she uses English Muffin Bread. MMMMM!) so your punishment will be much worse than losing your complete identity like I have. Her culinary expertise will have you drooling pools of saliva in no time so I feel that it's only a matter of time before you guys wise up and drop your frivolous lawsuit.

Meanwhile, I'm stuck with the name Frank (I have a Blazer to sell. I can't afford legal representation). It IS a manly name and franks are quite delicious... Especially around July 4 or when you're starving in the back alleys of D.C.--not that I would know. (Unfortunately, here in Belfast the closest thing we have to nitrate infused wieners is a pickled "frankfurter" type thingy-ma-bobby. It's just not the same.)

Make a move Playaz. I dare ya.

Until next time, I remain forever Frank. I plump when ya cook me!


Blogger Phil said...

I think you will become much more popular in Ireland, with the new name.

"There goes Frank. He is a true American."

We'll see how the name change goes - I do loves me some grilled cheese sandwiches (toasted? you must be from up north)!

11:31 pm  
Blogger Bon said...

I thought it was we southereners that lathered them in butter before toasting them?

1:54 am  
Blogger Phil said...

True, Bon, but the question is, when Frank says "toasted", does he mean putting them in a toaster or in the frying pan where they belong?

2:05 am  
Anonymous "Frank" said...

I appear to have (again) been "served" by the razor sharp eyes of the Playaz. My father is from "up North" while my mother is from the Southwest. The terms "grilled" and "toasted" in reference to cheese sandwhiches are interchangeable in the "Frank" household--it's the key to their 40 years of marital bliss.

In this case, I meant cheese sandwhiches slathered in water/oil based margarine products and quickly flash burned in an overheated skillet. (OK, I lied... my mom is actually a pretty horrible cook.)

In regards to my recent name change, I have to say it's been pretty nifty in that I feel like a criminal using somebody elses credit card at the supermarket. On the down side, my wife was a bit shocked this morning as I called out my own name in bed (as is my want)and I shouted "OH FRANK, YOU DEVIL!) I think she was momentarily concerned that I had developed a man-crush. However, all's well that ends well.

7:20 pm  

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