Monday, March 06, 2006

Don't Kill the Messenger

The following is a transcript of a recent MSN Instant Messenger conversation I had with a family member (who will remain anonymous).

This was my attempt to gather more information about a semi-serious fall my grandma took last week without ponying up for a long distance phone call.


In the end it wasn't worth it.

This conversation took almost an hour. About 10 minutes in I realized it was easier for me to walk away from my keyboard and get a drink, go to the bathroom, replace my car’s transmission, etc. than to try to interrupt the agonizing key-pecking I knew was occurring on the other end.

(Whenever you see "cut off..." in parenthesis this is where my attempts to interject any questions/comments were abandoned and I just sat back and enjoyed the ride.)

TRANSMISSION BEGINS:


Never give out your password or credit card number in an instant message conversation.

Wayne says:
hello?
XXXX says:
good morning!
Wayne says:
how're things?
XXXX says:
going quite well i think
really nice weather and how about there
Wayne says:
cold and crappy and snowy. so anyway, how's grand...(cut off)
XXXX says:

and we need that how is work?
Wayne says:
good. busy.
XXXX says:
and it is still looking good here as well even with the drought lurking about
XXXX says:
we are and looking for work in other places
XXXX says:
tourism is looking like it may grow with the train running out of Alamosa and the sand dunes
XXXX says:
did you read about the train going over to La Veta?
Wayne says:
Um… (cut off)
XXXX says:
we are hoping that will be a draw for some

(Hi, Wayne here. At this point “Mr. X” really begins to lose focus. His intense staring at the keyboard might have brought on a migraine.)

XXXX says:
the trai will be going to Antonito as well this summer and conect with the narrow goosee
Wayne says:
sounds painful
XXXX says:
they will be charging $40 for the round trip to La Veta and i have nto heard yet on the ant0nito run
XXXX says:
we go to mas transit then all fo that will have to change
XXXX says:
and there is talk of that starting here as well
Wayne says:
What… (cut off)
XXXX says:
there is a monumunt for commercail solar here and that may take off in the next year and is fart more excoting
Wayne says:
sounds like…(cut off)
XXXX says:
taht would employ seveeral engineers and many jobs moose
XXXX says:
us mens mandated to have something in place in the coming years that require renoowable energy
Wayne says:
oh
XXXX says:
and the valley is set for solar for curtain for solar
Wayne says:
that would…(cut off)
XXXX says:
they have only 2 more years to get it started that is the power company
XXXX says:
and biodiesel is in this mix as well
Wayne says:
I see.
XXXX says:
so maybe we will see something happen here for a change
XXXX says:
i have been asked to take a position as contractor to look for businesses to move to the valley and all of this will make it much easier
XXXX says:
we will see as this unfolds.
XXXX says:
there should be decision on this in a few weeks and we will go from there
Wayne says:
(Cutting in) mom said grandma fell. is she ok?

(Long Pause. “XXXX is typing a message.” Longer Pause.)

XXXX says:
she is doing much better. we need to impress on her that a cane will make her safer and that is now task at hand
XXXX says:
she is just getting weaker that is the porblem she stay inside during the winter
XXXX says:
and blowing she has hard time standing up.
XXXX says:
I need go. buhy

TRANSMISSION ENDS.

7 Comments:

Blogger Phil said...

What a crazy ride it was.

More like a monologue than a chat.

8:44 pm  
Blogger WOA said...

I toyed with the idea of editing this to make it funnier. But how can you compete with "and blowing she has hard time standing up."?

9:00 pm  
Blogger Phil said...

The simple placement of two keys next to two other keys, then inverting those keys...gives you comedy gold.

10:02 pm  
Anonymous Jama said...

now task at hand is discovering the porblem for bad typing... lmfao! Poor granny.

4:16 am  
Anonymous jama said...

Oh! And you cannot compete with "fart more excoting" classic!

4:20 am  
Blogger WOA said...

If "Mr. X" happens to stumble upon this I think my next visit home will definitely be "fart more excoting" than even I could imagine.

7:33 am  
Blogger Jett Loe said...

I just want to know wayne - how come u never insnt mssg me? we have a lot porblems we culd digust.

1:06 pm  

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