Sunday, April 02, 2006

Karma...Your name is Charlie

I'm not big on superstition.

OK, that's a big fat lie.

I'll believe any written word/radio broadcast/beggar on the street that says I'm destined for a good day. This is why I don't go to church or read the horoscopes. Better safe than sorry.

Hold on...I don't know what that means.

How am I "safe" rather than "sorry" if somebody tells me I'm going to have a good day? I don't know. Let's just leave this topic now, shall we?

Anyway, what I was going to talk about today was how I had a huge guilt complex over returning a very expensive remote control back to the store because it had served its purpose and was just sitting on my coffee table reminding me that I spent roughly 20 pounds (about $35 American) on a remote control that I only needed to use once.

Regular readers will know that I bought a new Sony DVD player in the hopes that it would be "Region Free" which means that we could play our DVD's from America as well as the ones we bought over here (Northern Ireland...keep up people).

Long story short... the remote was needed to "hack" the DVD player so that it would be region free. It worked. There was no need to keep it. However, I'm the worst at returning products to the store. I always feel guilty.

For example, as a male (me, that is) say I inadvertently bought a box of tampons. I have no use for said blood plugs. As a consumer, I have every right to return them at their full retail price because it was obviously some innocent error/fetish that I bought the damn things in the first place.


No matter how much I would be in the "right" on this, I would blush and stutter and probably trip on my way to the Customer Service counter because for some reason or the other I would feel it was my responsibility (which it probably was) and that I fucked up and the store owes me nothing and in fact I should pay them again for wasting their time. Is this is wrong. Is it? I don't know. Is it? Should I keep them? Pay them again? Maybe I should. You never know...

See? This is how my mind works. I'm convinced it's out to kill me. (Today, my wife actually said to me, and I quote: "If you didn't have a brain, you'd be twice as smart as you are now.")

OK. Let's tie this up before I embarrass myself any further:

I returned the remote AND I also returned a PC game that didn't work on my computer. (Yep, I know this came out of nowhere. I'm a crazy guy. Two returns in one day! Rock on!)

I gave the guy at the video game store a very sad and pathetic story and even though his store doesn't normally buy PC games (due to licensing laws), and aside from the fact that I didn't even buy the damn game in HIS store he actually gave me full price on the return as long as I bought ANOTHER game to take it's place. Which I did. I bought Animal Crossing for my Nintendo DS.

So, basically, I have nothing new to offer you people. I have had a shit on graham cracker type couple of weeks. I'm fed up, tired as all hell and I can't believe that tomorrow is Monday AGAIN, GODDAMN IT! And I give you returning shit to the store stories...sorry about that.

To be 100% honest, I'm not sure what it is I'm doing here (on this blog, that is). I'm pissed off, fed up and disgusted with everything around me. I feel guilty for asserting my rights and behaving like everyone else. (Special Thank You to Martin Luther and John Calvin for making guilt such a very personal mind fuck every time I step out the door.)

So why is Karma's name Charlie (as the title suggests)? I have no idea. They're just cute little puppies and I wish I had one now because people suck and puppies are always, ALWAYS cute.

Capricorn: Horoscope for Monday-- Life is grand. Take a chill pill and things will work out fine. And remember to tell your wife how lucky you are to have her. At the end of the day, we're all dead. Make sure the time until then matters.


Blogger Phil said...

Sounds like karma took a whiz on your carpet.

12:45 am  
Blogger Laurie (aka buggy) said...

I hate returning things so I just keep the broken one.

Probably not normal.

12:53 am  
Blogger WOA said...

Crap! You people commented before I had a chance to delete this! *sigh* It's amazing what I'll post when I'm in a bad mood: "TAKE THAT BLOG! THIS'LL LEARN YA!"

Anyway. Off to work...

6:32 am  
Anonymous Sue said...

I didn't comment, but I read it too. I just hung my head in compassion and hoped tomorrow would be a better day.

4:09 pm  

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