Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Because It's Tuesday

I was thinking this morning about how President Bush’s approval ratings have fallen below the 30% mark. Well, not really THINKING cuz that’s a lot to ask of me when I’m trying to avoid eye contact with the ogres and smelly old women on the morning train, but it was a thought that crossed my mind.

I wondered, ‘What other job in the world, aside from politics and owning your own business, can you piss off the people at work and still keep cashing your checks?’

Lord knows if my job approval rating fell below, say 50%, I’d be hoofing it to the nearest temp agency to find something…anything…to keep from joining the local homeless population.

At the very least, I’d have to earn roughly £5 a day to keep me in delicious, sparkling, high-alcohol content cider to make the pavement slightly more comfortable at night. I’d also have to work on my patchy beard growing abilities and sport an attractive balding mullet-style coif. Both of these style requirements take time and because I’m too busy trying to keep my co-workers happy, I simply can’t wedge them (the styles that is) into my current schedule (I ALWAYS have time for you, dear co-workers!). (Also, in Northern Ireland a lot of people pronounce ‘schedule’ as ‘shedge-ool’. Therefore, I expect you to read it that way.)

I thought there might be a lot of meat to this bone but I think I’ve pretty much summed up my feelings in the matter already. You’re elected, you piss people off, you still got two years of slouching and internet surfing (or whatever Bush does) plus a six-figure book deal waiting for you on the other end.

Unfortunately, my current contract doesn’t allow for such slackerhood. So I leave you with these ominous photos stolen from the interweb:

I typically find visions of Jesus in tortillas and trunks of willow trees amusing but the root of an asparagus plant? Well, I never! (If you look closely, you'll notice He's giving you the raspberry. Not me...YOU. You'd better shape up, Mister!)

And stop doing You-Know-What, because Ceiling Cat is watching you.


6 Comments:

Blogger Phil said...

Get the hell out of here, Ceiling Cat!!!!

1:36 pm  
Blogger The Rev said...

Let's see... a job approval rating where you can be below 30%.

I've got it... radio disc jockey.

If you get 10% of the people to listen to you, you're a star. That means the other 90% of the people hate you. But that 10% is enough people to sell to advertisers.

In Howard Stern's heyday, he had 12 million people listening to him. But his stations potentially reached ten times as many people. That means over 100 million people chose to listen to someone else. And he was the best that radio ever had as far as drawing listeners.

One last thing... George W Bush is a moron. There, I said it, and it felt good.

4:32 pm  
Blogger WOA said...

Well, Phil! Ceiling cat wouldn't be there if you weren't making baby Jesus cry.

And point well made Steve. Maybe I should aim that low...but having said that, I suppose most people HATE advertising anyway. 10% might be pretty damn nifty. I wouldn't know.

6:00 pm  
Blogger Phil said...

I should be left alone to my private thoughts without Ceiling Cat quietly judging me from his hole in the ceiling!

8:59 pm  
Anonymous Sue said...

Well Wayne, we both know a man with a -100% approval rating. He still has his job...but as you stated, he owns the company, so rather then being fired, he just enjoys the occassional 100% turnover rate. And as for Ceiling Cat...I have no worries, as I am pure as the driven snow. (NO...not snow that has been driven on!!!)

3:24 am  
Blogger WOA said...

Ceiling Cat knows when you are lying Ms. Smith. Ceiling Cat knows ...

9:37 am  

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